Trauma Therapy

Trying to work on trauma therapy. I am writing down my thoughts.


Thoughts 


EMDR?

My dad won’t let me quit. I’m trapped. My car is going to slide off this road and I’m going to die.I have no control over my own life. I have no control over my own body. I have no control over my sleep. I have no control over what happens at my job. I’m scared.  I wake up just to go to work to come home to go to bed to repeat the cycle. I’m going to get fired. I can’t do this. I can’t fall asleep. If I don’t get enough sleep I can’t pay attention to the road and I’m going to get in an accident and die. 

My veins feel like ice. I have no friends here, no one to talk to. Everyone seems to be taking to this, why can’t I? Why can’t I just quit? This doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t seem right. I’m not actually helping these students. I’m feeding in to this injustice. 

Exercise doesn’t help. It’s just later now when I go to bed which makes everything worse and now I have no time for myself.

Is it going to snow tomorrow? Ice? Will the school close?

I have to sleep. I have to calm down. Relax. I’m lucky I have a place to sleep tonight that’s close, why can’t I relax and sleep? I just have to do this all over again tomorrow.

I found pictures from the time there, and I was completely frozen in time. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A few attempts at mindfulness

Insomnia...